We're not lucky, we're just making the most of what we have

Let's start with a conversation nearly 8 years ago...

Sitting in an office, Mr and I were talking for pretty much the first time and he said that his Mum had died recently, it turned out our first 'dates' would be me helping to clear and sort his Mum's flat. Add to that, his Dad had died in a horrific accident only 6 months earlier, it's been a tough 8 years!

It's taken all this time and a LOT of heartache to sort things out, in that time we've got married, had one child and another on the way, but everyday I just wish that his Mum in particular got to meet me, see her son get married and meet her grandchildren.

So as we get ready to move into our own house and stop paying someone else's mortgage I'm really struggling. I've had so many comments of 'you're so lucky' and worse being teased for being posh because of where we've bought (it's really not).

Yes, we've been able to buy a house where we wanted to, but I'd give it up any day of the week if it meant his Mum still being here.

We're not lucky, we're just making the most of what we have left.

Limbo Land

Well here I am in 'Limbo Land' and I don't like it....

I remember this phase well from last time, you've got the positive test, you then wait FOREVER for the 12 week scan & then with baited breath, there it is, a little baby and all seems well, phew!

Next phase is waiting for the 16 week midwife appointment where you get to hear the hearbeat, now this is the phase I find the hardest, there are no definite movements yet (a couple of maybe that was something) and all you can do is just hope everything is ok!
This has been made worse this time by a mild scare last week*, I've been told that most likely everything is ok but they won't send me for a scan. I called the midwife who was really helpful, I asked if I could come into a 'drop-in clinic' for a heartbeat listen, she said yes I could but it might be too early to pick up! So do I go?? I might get to hear the hearbeat which would be amazing or I might still hear nothing...

So for now I wait in limbo land....hoping...

*If you know me and I haven't mentioned this please don't be offended, I just really didn't feel like talking about it before

'Glamping'...

Now I'd just like to start off with the fact that I really dislike the word glamping, but that's what it is!!

Me and Mr love camping, but now we have a small we weren't so sure about a break under canvas (well I wasn't anyway!) so we decided to try something else, we hit upon a break in an airstream caravan (for those of you who haven't heard of airstreams they're shiny caravans from america).

This is our first year of trying to book a holiday in peak school holidays...we were in for a bit of a shock! After many many hours deciding on our mini break we found http://www.happydaysrv.co.uk/ and luckily they had a Monday - Friday break available which was just perfect for us!

So we arrived on the Monday, the owners Kevin & Jenni are lovely and provided a change mat, fold up bath, highchair and steriliser which meant we didn't have to quite pack the kitchen sink (just nearly). We were staying in a van called Peggy who was very fab

It was a little bit of a juggle with the travel cot but we would settle the small one (nearly 11months now!) on his mattress on our bed then when we went to bed we set up  his travel cot in the lounge area and transferred him into there.
However he LOVED the caravan, he was pulling himself up and looking at everything and loved waving at his reflection when eating in the highchair outside.

We had a busy few days despite the crummy weather half-way through including going to Moors valley park with the bikes and trailer and we took him on his first mini railway ride which he loved too!

Only downside of the holiday was still having to use the campsite showers and loo block (apart from the middle of the night, phew) but overall we had a fab time and would defn recommend an airstream break to anyone, good fun and great to do something different!

A blue cross on a plastic stick

So 'the moment'....

This is my own personal opinion of trying to achieve the famous 'BFP' (big fat positive to those who haven't encountered the zillion and frankly bamboozling number of acronyms involved in pregnancy) but hopefully it'll be of some hope/help to readers out there

I've always believed in halting your chosen method of contraception, getting on the folic acid supplements and then, well, seeing what happens!!

It's kinda weird when you've spent a section of your life actively avoiding pregnancy and pregnancy tests are an instrument of fear to then re-think the whole thing.

I'd decided to only test if no AF (hopefully you know this one), so first month a bit late, tried a test and nothing, no great surprise and I'd have probably died of shock if it had been positive, it would have been nice to have told people over Christmas but just a minor thing.

And then came a certain awards ceremony in January, now this went against my testing theory but I was aware of dates etc and just how much drinking would occur at said awards bash, I honestly thought nothing would have happened as it was a very stressful month including my Gran dying about 2 weeks beforehand and moving house! However I also knew I'd have felt really bad if I'd drunk myself under the table and then had a positive result later that week...
So there I was at 06:30 on the morning of the awards ceremony, in the bathroom with my magic plastic stick, the control line came across and I left it for a while, then I looked back and nearly fell over as there was now a blue cross! I think I may have exclaimed something a bit rude and went downstairs to show hubs whilst I was shaking like a leaf!
So that was 'the moment'. It was all a bit surreal after that as I had to get myself to London so I pulled on my party dress (already underwear was a bit of an issue!) and set off, now bearing in mind I didn't really know where I was going as we were in a new area, so there I was fairly early on a Friday morning loitering around a bus stop in a party dress!
I had a brilliant party and managed to not say anything although a couple of people guessed, then the next day I purchased another test from boots in waterloo station, got home and same result, so then all the phonecalls started!

So there you have it! That day in January feels like yesterday but here we are over 39 weeks and I've just attached the number for the labour ward to a kitchen cupboard for the next big moment....

A swaddled owl??

Hello and welcome to the swaddled owl blog!

Firstly a bit of background, we're 30 year old first time parents to be (I'm 38 + 4 weeks as I type), we're fairly clueless as neither of us have come from families with lots of small babies about

I'm not one for gushing about children/babies and only in the last handful of years have I realised I do actually have a biological clock... so this blog is me sharing my pregnancy and parenting discoveries in a hopefully non-fluffy fashion (but forgive me if I do turn into a mushy Mum)

So a swaddled owl?? What is that all about?

Well firstly let me introduce Mr Hibs the owl, out of curiosity I ventured into a certain bear shop with my friend who was getting an actual bear for her little girls first birthday, I was completely terrified by all the 'accessories' you could purchase with your bear! However in the pile of animals you could have filled to become a squishy bear were some owls, on further inspection I realised they were perfect for my growing bump and purchased an owl (however no accessories for the owl and this will remain the case). We have some French heritage on Hubs side so I was intending to refer to the owl as 'Hibou' however my French pronunciation is poor to awful so I've settled on 'Mr Hibs'

This is not the first time Mr Hibs has been involved in baby prep, he got taken to ante-natal classes so we could demonstrate how to calm a crying baby (I wish I could have got hubs face on camera at this point) and I also took him along to a maternity shoot which was sweet.

So yesterday we got the last few bits including a swaddle wrap which I'm keen to try out for the first month, I suggested we try swaddling the owl just to see how it works, and there you have it a swaddled owl!

I also suggested trying out nappies on the owl and instead of the laughter I expected somehow we ended up trying out nappies on the owl....

Until we find something else to wrap/dress the owl in he remains in the crib awaiting the arrival of our first baby *gulp*